Beginner/ Bangers and Sports Riders

Here you go..theres no Championship Status for Sports Category riders..
Why , you ask..we're people too , you say..
Well us Golden Gods of mountainbiking, we can't have you new people putting on your extra tight Lycra and your extra loose baggies and coming in to our races and setting fire to yourselves with the same passion as we have..
yet..
so you pay your dues and earn your stripes in Sports..we've had a long time problem with Bangers..
these guys are the lads who train on the sly when we're all asleep or in the pub just to be Number 1 sports rider..
Well Sports is The participation Category..its where you go first to learn how to deal with the taste of blood in your mouth and the overwhelming urge to vomit on the climbs and to keep your eyes open on the descents.
Its where you learn whaat " Rider Up " means..but the Banger is a low mean creature.. always coated in full lycra and taking on bottles in a Sports race..
We Golden Gods despise them and would like to see the disease eradicated..you can help by abusing them if they are in your race..
When I become President of Cycling Ireland..i will be bringing in 3 rules for sports racing
1. you must be willing to sell your bike for €500 after the race
2. You must be wearing baggies ,kneepads and a 3 ltre Camelbak
3. half way round the course you must refuel with a mars bar and a can of coke ..
If any of those conditions frighten you or freak you out..then its on up to Experts and the Age Categories